Supporting my widowed mom as early as 8 years old

Story of : Clifford Ochieng- Nyanam Administrative and Operations Manager

As an 8-year old boy, Clifford felt a strong need to protect and support his widowed mother. At such a tender age, Clifford already understood the vulnerability of his mother. He was on the lookout especially for men he perceived would exploit his widowed mother. At this time, Cliff’s family lived in the slums of Nairobi in Mathare, where his mother brew chang’aa (home-made alcohol) to make ends meet.

Clifford often feared for his mother’s safety. On one occasion, one man had physically assaulted his mother leaving Clifford’s mom with injuries because she refused the man’s advances. Chang’aa business exposes women brewers to both sexual and economic exploitation, and many widows turn to this business to fend for their families. Cliff was wary of men coming to his house to seek relationship with his widowed mother. He might have been still missing his father, and not wanting anyone to replace his dad. He had also seen enough abuses of women in her mom’s business, and as the only male in his Mathare house, felt the need to protect his mother.

From that tender age of eight years old, Clifford resolved to be his mother’s defender. He protected his mother the only way his eight year old self knew. Whenever men attempted to exploit his mother physically or sexually, Clifford would throw even hot water at them. On a few occasions, some men sustained simple burns. One can only wonder the issues this eight year-old boy was dealing with to care for his mother. Clifford also functioned as his mother’s handyman. He helped his mother with so many errands related to her business. But, life in Mathare became unbearable, and Clifford decided to return to Kisumu and live with his also widowed grandmother.

Just as he ran errands and defended his widowed mother, Clifford now runs errands for hundreds of widows at Nyanam as our administrative and operations manager. He has grown in the organization from an Admin Assistant to now Operations Manager. Whenever he introduces himself to new widows at Nyanam, Clifford often says, “atayo chenro” a Luo phrase the means he manages the operations of the organization. Similarly, just as he defended his widowed mother, Clifford created Nyanam’s first curriculum on women’s property rights, that we have started implementing this year in protecting widows’ land rights.

Written by : Jackie Odhiambo, Nyanam Founder and Executive Director